Finding the Right Path… Again

I’ve been M.I.A. in the month of August. I have to apologize. This month flew by! And as the Fall comes closer, business is picking up. Trust that I am eternally grateful for the lack of time on my hands these days. But with this new busy schedule and dwindling free time, I’ve had to once again practice the art of flowing with change. The more I tread this road of self-bossing, the more self-doubt creeps in.

Recently, my doubts have taken the form of work stress. Work that once was joyful had suddenly become a point of tension in my life. I felt a tad trapped, doing work that was tangential to what I originally set out to do. And because I’ve committed so much of my time to making my current reality a reality, I was scared to let it go and change directions (just like forgoing job hunting to make self-bossing a reality was scary). Additionally, I’ve been struggling with recognizing what is a temporary, fixable stress and what is a sign for me to move on. In conclusion, being in tune with oneself is imperative and this journey just doesn’t get any easier. [The good news is when I do overcome an obstacle like this one, I know without a doubt that I’m making the most of myself.] 

Thankfully, a blessing was just around the corner, and once again I relearned the lesson of if-I’m-ready-to-quit-success-is-just-one-step-farther. [There’s just a lot of relearning lessons in general…] Said blessing was a tour of Batdorf and Bronson’s roastery. As you may already know, I’m tea obsessed. During this tour of the roastery I had a chance to connect the art of tea with the art of coffee. But most importantly, I was reminded of how much craft fascinated and fulfilled me. Since a small child I’d build things (from bows and arrows to entire room-sized habitats) and create my own board games and write stories/novels/poems and draw and paint. My hands are my single greatest asset and coffee had kindly reminded me of what I’ve been striving for this entire year; I’ve been striving to create and to make a living creating. 

Admittedly, it’s a relief that I had strayed from the path rather than being on the completely wrong path. I’m now back on track, back on the road to creating. I had allowed fear to confuse me. Talking to my friend Sam today, she reminded me that fear was a sign of what I should be doing [another relearned lesson]. I’m officially re-calibrated and ready to rock ‘n’ roll.

May fear be my guide.

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