That Disconnect

My absence has been good and bad. Good because I’m busier than I can sometimes handle. Bad because I haven’t been keeping up with this blog. But here I am, y’all. I do apologize. The main reason I’m writing today: I’ve been feeling disconnected. I hope by the end of this post, I can figure out why. Do you ever feel like you are on an entirely different wave length as the rest of the world? It makes me the most awkward person alive and I hate it.

A new year is well underway and I want 2012 to be a year of leaps. There is no doubt in my heart that it will be. It’s just what I previously imagined those leaps to be and what I’m noticing they are turning out to be are completely different. Horoscopes (don’t judge) and experiences are telling me that at least the first half of 2012 is going to be deliberation and planning and fine tuning. Well… more of it and in conjunction with definitive action. I’ve been deliberating and planning and fine tuning since I first set out on this journey of being my own boss. And to be honest, it never ends. At times, it’s been a form of resistance to actually doing what needs to be done. But at this moment, it’s a matter of whittling down what I want to do right now and staying on that (very) straight and narrow path. And as of right now, I have at least 5 projects that I want to start/devote more time to. Aaaaand that’s impossible…

I’ve already fallen into the trap of talking about these projects with others and expecting a greater interest or understanding than what I get. Expectations are a trap. They are yet another means by which I get in my own way. And they are the sole culprit of why I’m feeling so disconnected. I’m on the cusp of taking an important next step on my journey and I want people to understand what’s going on in my head. Seeing is believing and all I’ve been doing is talking. It’s time I reconnect.

And with the amazing feat that is writing, I now know what I have to do.

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